Monday, June 30, 2008

But I'm too young for the C word!

As I begin this post, I'm not sure that I am going to hit publish when I'm done. If you're reading this, then I guess I did.

Tomorrow and Wednesday are not days I'm looking forward to. Why? Well, a doctor wants to be safe and run a special procedure on me to be sure everything is OK. What is the procedure? OK, pay close attention because I am only going to use this word once because it is such an ugly word. If you are young or easily disturbed, stop reading now. The word is "COLONOSCOPY". (Heretofore known as the "C" word).

I thought all along that I would not have to have a (C-word) until I was 50! That way me and all my aging friends could joke with and harass each other about having to have "that" done. No, I'm special. I get to have my first one when I'm 41. Oh joy.

This is all because I had some bleeding there about a month ago and they just wanna have a "look-see". A "look-see" involving a liquid diet, a gallon of intestinal "Drano", my unavoidable humiliation, and long unspeakable tools of, shall we say, "exploration?" Let me tell you, this mission to boldly go where no one has gone before is more than just a little unsettling. I wouldn't mind a bit if my "final frontier" remained a mystery a few years longer.

Anyways, tomorrow I begin an all liquid diet. Emily bought me, like, 2 GALLONS of apple juice, plus white grape juice and apple cider. Tomorrow night I have to drink 8 ounces of some potion every 10 minutes for 2 and a half hours. I doubt I'll sleep a wink (unless its sitting down if you know what I mean!)

I figured this blog is about the good, the bad and the ugly of my life, and I might as well take you along for the ride. If I didn't write anything I'd feel weird, and if I only wrote about a "private medical procedure", I'd go crazy answering all the private questions, so I'll just put my cards out there and tell you what is what.

I'm 41. I'm having a (C-word). If you don't like it, if it's "Too Much Information", then kindly read some other blog for a couple of days. I promise no graphic details and absolutely no live video streams (Ewwwww....) (OK, I think I crossed a line there, better wrap this up)

Just me, keeping it real and honest.

Peace, Love, and "The END",

Rich

5 comments:

Bolo said...

You know, it's undoubtedly the bible college student in me, but I thought, "What? Too young for the C-word? No way! You're never too young for Calvinism!"

Yeah. Here's to hoping the explorers go easy...

Gung Ho said...

I thought it was another C-word as in what Abraham did in Gen. 17.

Rich said...

Genesis 17:11 "You are to undergo circumcision, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and you."

Oh THAT C-word! Had that been the procedure my title would have read "But I'm TOO OLD for the C word".

pineapplejuice said...

Back up 10 verses:

"When Abram was ninety-nine years old..." Gen 17:1

Rich said...

Ouch! Good observation there Pineapplejuice! I think we better cut this topic off right here.....get it?